Action Report 2: The Gods of EVE

Posted: March 5, 2014 in Action Reports

*** Feb 08 ***


The girls don’t like the Blood Raiders with their strange rituals and that is because they have their own connections with a whole set of eve online Gods. Here are a few:
– The God of Power. One that determines the amount of damage applied by guns, missiles and drones
– The God of Speed. How well you maneuver in the best positions. Also determines where you will end up after jumping trough a gate or warping into a bubble
– The God of Jamming. Is in control of ECM drones, ECM jammers and the warp jammers of rats
– The God of Fights. Determines when and where people come together to fight
– The God of Loots also called the Loot Fairy. Determines how much loots you get after a kill
– The Almighty God and Great leader of all Gods, the God of Connectivity. Determines when the CCP Exe file crashers or worse, when the Socket closes.
– And of course lesser gods like the God of Sites or the God of Wormholes.

Being very religious pilots the ladies always pray to the eve gods before a fight for lots of kills and little losses. The gods being awesome fulfill their wishes as you can see on the killboard:

But it is at a cost. Each year their killed targets will hunt them for a whole month and no one knows when or how, but they will.

Last year it happened in February where they lost several ships in unfair and silly ways within a single week. And this year it is this time again with over a billion worth of isk in ship and pod losses within a week again. For a moment I had hoped that it would just be one week, but I was wrong.

Me and Kinis were in FWST for hours straight without any luck. When I go afk he reports several juicy targets flying trough the system looking for kills, I get back and they are gone. We decide to hunt for a lonely hauler after an hour of nothing again. I bubble up to try and decloak him and suddenly local pops up from the other side with other guys. Kinis got stuck inside Stacey her bubble and dies: The God of Fights was having a high five with the God of Speed and Stacey got her first kills of the month, awox mails.

Same evening we hunt down a Wolf and Waffle dies because I burned out my guns while the target was at 5% structure: Fortunately he burned out his nos, else he would have killed me. We kill him, but still lost the fight isk wise and Waffle ragequitted like EZ did today. It is not my fault though, it is the God of Power messing about I tell you.

Gaby almost got out during the last fight. After the Brutix died:, she was just tackled by an Inty and I deployed ECM drones on him. During the whole fight (At least a full 10 minutes long!) they didn’t get one jam off while I had aligned out. Khanadore dies and they switch to me while I was miles from the gate still spamming warp. The first ECM drone they deployed gets a jam on poor Gaby, while the God of Jamming laughed at her right in the face.

The God of Connectivity doing his magic almost daily hasn’t disconnected me at the most horrible times yet, but I fear for my Jumpfreighter while moving trough Niarja.

Since EZ is a number freak and likes killboard efficiency, I don’t want to displease him anymore than I am already with over 1/10 of all alliance losses. So I be taking a break for a bit and have given the ladies tickets for a pleasure planet in Huola where they will enjoy the lovely sun and zipping quafe in their hammocks with a lovely view across white sunny beaches and handsome men. They will be available in March for a new month filled with nice and epic kills again.

Don’t hold back when I’m gone though. The EVE Gods should still be with you on your roams!


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