Battlereport 21: Stacey and Gabryella can’t fly frigates!

Posted: March 5, 2014 in Battle Reports

*** Sep 1 ***


Frigates, what are those again?

Oh yeah, flimsy little ships that turn into bright explosions leaving your pod exposed. They warp too fast, they move too fast, they orbit too fast, they scramble too fast and of course they die too fast. I hate frigates, they are not for me and I think you can guess why.

Stacey and Gabryella agree, they have had no frigate training whatsoever and were staring me in the face like, wtf? (Well, Stacey had a little training in the past with the Vengeance and Retribution which were fitted to be flying bricks, but she quickly flew something bigger, namely a Sacrilege or a Drake)

I had Rebirth talk me into bringing a Nyan Comet to kill a Heretic in ON-3NO and I was a bit … hmm yeah … just like old times orbiting a gate, but not really sure if I wanted to do this. My last killmail made me very skittish: No Stacey, engaging a bait Rifter is not a good idea and you just got the entire fleet killed, congrats!

And guess what? Again Stacey just pressed all the wrong buttons on the wrong time and for the wrong target when I had Gabryella check out a Sabre jumping in to FWST-8. Panic took a hold of her and the web button was pressed, but not the scram button. Drones were deployed but not assigned and by accident returned instead. Not to mention the guns. The guns, yes those! Wouldn’t it be wise to use them? Nice job Stacey, you just got turned into dust within a wooping 5 minutes after undocking in less then 3 seconds, awesome:

And yes, the guy had remote repairs from a Execuror and yes there was a huge Goon fleet waiting for us on the other side of FWST-8 and yes they warped on top of Gabryella her Vagabond who managed to press the right buttons and got out in time. But it all shows how silly a frigate can be in the hands of an incompetent pilot like myself.

Someone once told me to buy 50 punishers and start shooting things in lowsec, but it would be easier to just suicide the ships instead and salvage my own loot and wrecks. In other words, no more combat frigates for them please, tyvm!

You just need to give the girls other stuffs to do, stuffs where they are good at. Like Gaby for instance, burning 300 km from a gate towards a Cynabal that was moving faster than she was and giving her friends an epic warp in and holding the guy long enough to get on the kill:

Or Stacey who has become an awesome logistics pilot. Ok, Rebirth lost his Stabber Fleet Issue while she was repairing him: I undocked too late when Reb said undock, wait hold and then yes undock (or so I heard) and for god sake, fit a plate if you are baiting! EHP and RR goes HIH while MAR is for 1V1, get it? If you do you play too much Eve Online.

His Caracal at least had a shield extender fitted and two times in a row I managed to safe it on an epic way:  + pod (10% shields left on the Caracal when Stacey had to burn 30km to get in range. Gudius was too late to make it on the kill) and (Stacey her repairers were burned badly, but the Caracal had 50% structure! left with almost no shields during the whole fight and Gudius his Dramiel got to 20% shields as arbalesttom swiched targets. Gaby arrived after the fight) GF were put in local, but waved away. Those damn logistics! No, pro logistics as in Stacey Starwolf!

So don’t give these girls a knife or a bb gun, give them swords or a shotgun instead or even better, band aids!


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