The Lovetar®

Posted: March 5, 2014 in Other eve related things

Dear sir/madame,

Thank you for your interst in our famous level 4 mission / complex runner, the Lovetar®. The Lovetar® is a fun ship for lovers to explore level 4 missions and each other on an intimate basis.

2013.09.19.17.37.21

Safety first
Before using the Lovetar®, ask your nearest lvl 4 agent which mission he has available for you and your partner. Every mission can be run with the two of you and most certainly with the Lovetar®. That’s because the Lovetar® comes with a small buffer of 7250 armor and a resist module. The maximum resists are 77.5% for EM, 59.5% for Explosive or 85.4% for Thermal damage depending on which damage type you decide to resist against. Its resist against kinetic damage does not need any boosting, it is already a stunning 83.8%! Also remember that if you or your partner has leadership skills the resists on the Lovetar® will even be higher.

Make sure the two of you are in the same fleet and assign a fleet-, squad-, or wing leader. We know this can pose a problem at first, so our advice is to switch turns after completing a mission. Warp into the mission site while holding hands by using the squad warp button and activate the gate together if there is any.

Making love
The 4x Centii A-Type Small Remote Armor Repairers in the high slots are essential for having fun. When active they can give 124.8 love per second, that is the same as 3 Medium T2 armor repairers can repair. But you and your partner have to be intimate to make them work. Get within 6.5km of each other and start gently by locking your lover. If the rats are shooting your partner, start your magic by activating the repairers. If everything goes well between the two of you, your lover will return your call when the rats shoot you. Don’t forget to deploy your drones together to shoot the rats while enjoying each others company.

If the rats are too tough to handle, start spicing things up by orbiting each other. Don’t forget, you can move even when webbed. With the tiny signature radius you have, battleships won’t hit well and because there is two of you they will switch targets after awhile. If things don’t work out, align to a celestial and warp off together. Leave the drones, they are worth less than your Lovetar® and be kind to each other at the station or planet. Things like this can happen and you can always give it another go by swapping some drone damage amplifiers for more hardeners or fitting an afterburner instead of the microwarpdrive.

If all goes well and all the rats are destroyed, you can inform the mission agent that you are happy lovers and enjoy the pricey loot together.

Speed and stamina
With the Lovetar® you can make love forever at 53% stamina with a normal speed of 221m/s. You can even switch out the recharger for another tracking link, but if you do you will run out of stamina after 10 minutes and will be for some time due to the penalty of the mircrowarpdrive. You could change to an afterburner instead, but with the microwarpdrive you can make love at a whooping 1365m/s, which has its advantages. But be careful, fast love will only last 2 and a half minutes and can seriously ruin your evening if you are not experienced enough. You can always improve your love speed or stamina with a Zor® link or remote repair implants, but those can be expensive for a first night.

The toys
Harass the rats with an array of drones you can bring with the Lovetar® and try different types on the rats together while making love. Your combined dps at lvl 5 is 1502 with Garde II’s, 794 with Hammerhead II’s and 516 dps with Hobgoblin II’s. You can even use other types of drones if you are up against for example the Sansha. On paper the dps will drop a lot to 1220 with Curator II’s, but you will discover that the rats will die faster.

The Costs
Have a fun night with the Lovetar® for just under 300 million isk. Costs are a bit higher now due to its success, but the small A-Type remote repairers are still only 8 million isk each and the ship, which had a resent buff, is only 190 million isk.

Why the Lovetar
The Lovetar® offers a great way for lovers to get to know each other by being active and intimate at the same time. Missions are exiting and fun to explore with the many possibilities the Lovetar has to offer. You will find that relying on each other for a longer period of time will result in a faster completion of your ultimate mission goals. Once familiar with the Lovetar® you can even boost your love life by running daring complexes together in lowsec or 0.0 for more precious loots. Whatever you do, one thing is for sure, you will definitely not fall asleep with the Lovetar®. Try her now and have fun lovers!

Kind regards,

Stacey Starwolf, Disband.

The Lovetar® is only available trough the Disband. alliance. Copying the Lovetar® fit will result in us letting you walk the Nyan rainbow of love with kitty ears and a fake tail. The Disband. alliance is not responsible for the destruction of the Lovetar®, her drones or break ups between lovers. For more information check our website and forums or contact us in game.

– Spoilers –

– Spread your love by repairing the drones of your partner when they are under attack.
– Assign drones to each other or assign them to your partner when you are tired or jammed by jamming rats.
– Use the microwarpdrive and chase each other across the field playfully to get away from the rats and make love from a distance while sniping them down.
– Align towards the gate and fleet warp hand in hand to arrive at the next mission site together.

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